The Threat of Civility?

Is incivility defensible? Special Forum guest blogger Rosanne Thomas of Boston-based Protocol Advisors, Inc. reflects on the uncivil response to Jon Stewart's call for respectful public discourse. 

Jon Stewart has called for a restoration of respectful public discourse through a "Million Moderate March," scheduled for October 30 in Washington. One cannot argue with the merits of such a pursuit or malign the person who proposed it, can one?

Apparently, one can and many have. Actual defenses of incivility as just "the way to get things done" are lumped in with personal attacks upon Mr. Stewart that include references to his heritage, his intelligence, his leanings, his motives, his audience and the success (read failure) of an event that will not be held for another month. Really? For suggesting respectful discourse? It would seem a "rally to restore sanity" is coming in the nick of time.

The purpose of the March, says Mr. Stewart, is to counter "the minority of 15 percent to 20 percent of the country that has dominated the national political discussion with extreme rhetoric." He holds both major political parties accountable for their roles in the discussion. In calling for the rally, Mr. Stewart has imposed upon himself a very high standard. For his own credibility and to achieve his goal, he will need to both model civility and maintain an apolitical stance, not necessarily an easy thing to do for someone with strong opinions. Yet, it can be done, and if done well, will provide a workable template for us all.

In the meantime, some simple thoughts on promoting public discourse include:

• To be respected, one must respect
• To be heard, one must listen
• To be understood, one must strive to understand
• To teach, one must be willing to learn

A Blow for Civility

Special Guest Blogger Rosanne Thomas, certified etiquette and protocol consultant and founder of Boston-based Protocol Advisors, Inc., continues the conversation about the recent Jet Blue incident and what it means for civility.

In yesterday's New York Times, Benedict Carey wrote of Steven Slater, the Jet Blue flight attendant whose dramatic exit from a plane after an encounter with a passenger has elevated him to folk hero status. The veracity of Mr. Slater's account is now in question after several other passengers offered different views of what actually transpired.

But whether the messenger is ultimately to be believed, light has been shone on the very real challenges faced by those who deal with the public every day, and perhaps what happened is a good thing. Or perhaps it isn't.

Time will tell if Mr. Slater's claims have merit. If they do not, time will also tell whether what he did for the "working man" was more harmful than helpful, a potential ironic blow to customer service workers who deserve a credible advocate.

In the meantime, what we know for sure is that Mr. Slater struck no "blow for civility" as Mr. Carey asserts. Answering alleged rudeness with rudeness, and in this case involving an entire plane of innocent passengers, lowers the bar of respectful discourse across the board. These are undoubtedly stressful times, yet nothing can be gained by lauding such behavior. Civility, unfortunately, was not on board that day.

Civility Meets the Unfriendly Skies

Special Guest Blogger Rosanne Thomas, certified etiquette and protocol consultant and founder of Boston-based Protocol Advisors, Inc., weighs in on the recent Jet Blue incident.

Recent events upon a Jet Blue flight have brought into focus the element of "stress" and its impact upon daily lives.

According to the vast majority, stress, defined as "an emotionally disruptive or disquieting influence," was largely to blame for the unprecedented behavior of a flight attendant that day. Rude customers, unforgiving work conditions and unrelenting pressure finally took their cumulative toll and he had an understandable, even justifiable "meltdown," they say. In fact, his actions were lauded as working-class heroics by those who only wish they had the courage to do the same.

While most of us do indeed sympathize and perhaps even relate to the challenges of stressful working conditions, something is amiss here and one can only wonder how the situation might have been handled differently. Incivility, regardless of provocation, harms more than just those directly involved. It sets our collective bar for respectful interactions lower and opens the door for even more egregious and potentially harmful behaviors in the future.

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"Answer rudeness with civility, with politeness." Rosanne Thomas

Click here to see Rosanne featured on WBZ TV's Keller @ Large! http://wbztv.com/video/?id=91758@wbz.dayport.com