A Present for the Holidays

We were humbled to receive the following poem from a long time member of our Forum Family, someone who attended our Annual Hartford Children's Holiday Party for the first time this year and was deeply moved by the experience.

This poem is his gift to us - all of us - and a wonderful reminder about the real meaning of the holiday season.  Enjoy!

For reasons best not expressed

This season had found me quite depressed

Until, that is, when I was invited

To an event for which I was not excited.

A group whose work I have adored

(I sit on their advisory board)

For 18 years has held a fete,

A holiday event for children set

In a ballroom, grand and cavernous

Where, erstwhile, men quite ravenous

Had sat dining, whining of things financial

Thinking their work was so substantial.

But now that room with lofty ceiling

Was filled a brim with holiday feeling,

The sound of unfettered joy,

The jingling of a jangling toy,

Tables set with crafts to bring forth glee

For children of all sorts to see.

Volunteers from here and there

Had taken time enough to care

To put aside their own lives’ burdens

Bringing joy unto these young ones

Whose lives, I regret to say,

Are ones that, day to day,

Cause them their laughs to suppress,

To find a way to do with less

Than others of their tender years

For many exist in homes of fear

And those who come are but a few

Of the many others deserving too.

They are a motley bunch

Who have been invited here for lunch,

Tall, short and of varied hew

Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Jew

All together, laughing, sharing

No one at the other staring

All accepting of each other

Treating each like sister, brother,

Squealing at the man on stilts,

Running round the room full tilt,

Filling up the room with magic,

Unaware their lives are tragic,

Giggling at the silly clown,

As the clock goes running down.

Soon their fun would have to end

And back to their homes we’d have to send

Them having had a moment’s bliss

That otherwise they would have missed

But for the work of volunteer

Who came to share a bit of cheer.

I don’t know if they’ll remember

This day of fun in mid-December.

But I am sure to cherish dearly

That which I approached so wearily

When their laughter, like a dart,

Did vanquish the grayness in my heart.

It’s amazing how a child’s sweet face

Can one’s anchored sorrow quick displace.

And, afterwards, it struck me -

Is it not an irony,

That bringing joy unto a child

And by their smile become beguiled

Into a sense of love for others

Treating each like sisters, brothers

Whether thin, fat, short or tall

Is the meaning of this season

after all?

So to you my colleagues and my friends,

Regardless of what life intends,

I wish much joy and happiness;

Indeed, I wish you childlike bliss.

To find it you need only bend

And to a child your blessings send.

HAPPY

HOLIDAYS!

YOURS, ALWAYS, JR

Gay Marriage: Yes, no and maybe...

Connecticut YOUTH Forum Member Justin has something to say about the recent decision by the Connecticut Supreme Court regarding same-sex marriage in the state.

I am extremely thrilled that CT made this decision. For the first time in my memory, I am genuinely proud to be a resident of this state. I never really saw CT as being all that progressive, but this proved that we could be. We are ahead of the rest of the country with same-sex rights, being the third state to grant marriage privileges and one of the first to enforce civil unions.

But, however ahead we may be I am still worried. It is only a matter of time before rallies and protests occur, and people start to fight against this new-found freedom. There has already been a proposal to create a constitutional convention that would undoubtedly reform and reverse the same-sex marriage bill. I hope that it does not come into creation, but even if it doesn't there will be something else. And if that doesn't work, there will be something else. While this may be a huge success, there is still a lot of fighting to do, and quite frankly I am tired. Tired of fighting for my rights, tired of discrimination, tired of having to actually prove that I am equal. I feel like I should not have to use all this energy, and that this fight should have never existed in the first place. "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" is what this country was modeled after, yet the latter just isn't being fully embraced.

I am happy for Connecticut, but ashamed that the rest of the country has not come to same conclusion. 3/50 is far from good enough.

From another YOUTH Forum Member David from Granby…

Have anything to say about the topic? Do I ever! ^^ And awaaaay we go.

Before anything else, the distinction needs to be made between civil union and marriage. My personal belief is that civil union should be what's recognized by the government (on any level), and marriage should be upheld by churches, communities, what have you. With this distinction made, I don't see any reason why federal or state governments should fail to give gay and straight relationships equal weight. Our government is a secular institution, no matter how hard religious or anti-religious groups might try to hijack it, and moral/religious beliefs aside, I've seen no convincing reason why a gay couple is inherently less functional than a straight one. Thus, the government should recognize civil unions for both straight and gay couples, and not get involved with what is or is not a "marriage".

That said, I also don't believe that the government has the right to interfere with churches to force acceptance of gay marriage. If religious authorities on either a parochial or higher level decide that their faith or denomination does not support or sanction gay marriage, or consider same-sex couples married, then that's their right.

As a caveat: if there is a type of relationship (e.g. between an adult and a child) with the potential for serious inherent difficulty, it *may* be appropriate for the government to deny the same rights and benefits granted to most couples. I shouldn't be able to wed a three-year-old and expect to be treated as a "married" couple. This is the point where libertarianism becomes a bit fuzzy, though, and I'm extremely hesitant to take a stand here. I believe that if there is a valid argument against legal recognition for gay couples, it likely falls into the "slippery slope" category.

I'm obviously pulling my anti-gay-marriage punches pretty hard, because I don't actually know the extent to which it would be difficult to draw the line, as many opponents of gay marriage believe it would be. It definitely bears consideration by policy makers.

Best of luck with the blog, and I hope to see you at the next Youth Forum event. (It's at my school! W00ts!)

Not everyone is so thrilled. Juliet from Madison writes:

Marriage is and always has been a union between and man and a woman. To allow gays or anyone else to appropriate marriage as an institution is not only an insult to my marriage but a dangerous slippery slope. If two men or women are allowed to marry, what is stopping anyone from marrying a beloved pet or sibling? Further, marriages are the foundation upon which families are built and children should ALWAYS be raised in a family with a mother and father.

I have nothing in particular against gays. As far as I’m concerned they are free to do what ever they want in the bedroom. That does not give them the right to threaten my or any other normal couple’s marriage.

What do you have to say? Are we at the start of a golden age of tolerance, or on the precipice of the end of civilization?

The Connecticut YOUTH Forum: Straight Talk on Stereotypes

By Katlyn Knox, Executive Associate at The Connecticut Forum

This week, over 150 students from high schools all over the state of Connecticut kicked off the school year with the first monthly meeting of The Connecticut YOUTH Forum. Students from near and far came together in the cafeteria of Avon High School to listen, talk, and connect. This month’s focus: Stereotypes.

As a relatively new employee of The Connecticut Forum, this was the first YOUTH Forum meeting I have ever attended and I did not really know what to expect. I understood that the YOUTH Forum held monthly meetings that were focused on specific topics, and that adults could participate as silent observers, but I couldn’t imagine how this would work. I mean, more than 100 teenagers in a room engaging in civil and respectful dialogue…with microphones? Was this even possible? How?

I learned. I had heard that microphones would be passed…driven with minimal facilitation from adults, and I was absolutely blown away by the conversation I witnessed. To see such a large group of teens from very diverse walks of life speaking on their own accord about such a touchy subject was amazing. I was awestruck by the rawness, intelligence, and passion in their comments.

“It’s OK the be open minded, to have an opinion, and not be afraid to say what you want to say,” said Tina, a Senior at New Britian High School.

And they weren’t afraid. The conversation was broad and heartfelt, with students defining what the word stereotype meant to them, and sharing their own experiences.

The highlight of the afternoon, to me, came when Kyle, a Freshmen at Rham High School stood up and explained an experience he had.

“When we first started playing (hockey) everyone in the league was white, and there was one new black kid. We all assumed that that he would be the one that we probably wouldn’t be able to trust with plays and pass the ball to. He ended up being the fastest and highest scoring kid on our team.”

This young man, standing up in front so many other students and candidly admitting his own wrong, spoke directly to the mission of The Connecticut YOUTH Forum, which is to bring youth together through discussion and action while providing opportunities for growth and exploration.

I know that have grown from the experience of participating in this meeting as a silent observer. Days later, the comments and ideas that were expressed by those teens have stuck with me, kept me thinking, and have me looking forward to the next meeting.

Read more about the CT YOUTH Forum meeting at Avon High School in the Hartford Courant blog post, "Teens Talk Stereotypes at Avon HS."

For more information on The Connecticut YOUTH Forum, and how you can get involved, visit www.ctyouthforum.org or call (860) 509-0909 ext. 12