Mockeries of the Day

Recent news headlines are making a mockery of everything from the U.S. legal system to the current financial crisis. Consider this:

1. U.S. "Interrogation" Strategies?
Bernie Madoff, the man we can all thank for adding "Ponzi Scheme" to our vocabularies, is still living in his plush, Manhattan penthouse apartment in an effort, the Feds say, to "encourage his cooperation." When it comes to "encouraging the cooperation" of prisoners detained at Abu Ghraib, however, our government condones torture tactics such as waterboarding and sleep deprivation. What's it gonna be, folks?

2. Another Industry Hard-up for Cash?
Following in the footsteps of the financial and automobile industries, the adult entertainment industry has now approached Congress for their own $5 billion bailout. Who will it be next?

3. Senate Seat Going Once, Going Twice...
In the most recent news from the Illinois, Rod Blagojevich says that he "looks forward to" a trial about his alleged attempts to sell a Senate seat to the highest bidder, and The Chicago Sun-Times reports changes and contradictions in the story regarding the seemingly squeaky-clean Roland Burris.

#4. Kidney Failure?
A Long Island man is suing his wife over the kidney he gave to her when they were still happily married. Richard Barista contends he donated his kidney to his wife only to have her commit adultery, divorce him, and keep him from seeing their children, and now he wants it back. Or at least $1.5 million in damages.

#5. Joe the Journalist?
Joe the Plumber, aka Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, has been given a position as an international news journalist. Just when you thought his fifteen minutes were over...