Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Breaking Good News: Portuguese Water Dogs Can Trounce Pirates!
Arrrgh! I wish someone would break it to the teenage pirates pillaging off the coast of Somalia that skulls and cross bones are OUT - have been for at least three years, or however long it's been since the name Jack Sparrow wafted through the collective conscience. Today it's all about peace signs, baby. Peace signs and hearts and rainbows and unicorns.
Piracy is out too, for that matter. Eye patches? Peg legs? Foul-mouthed parrots? Not in fashion anywhere, and especially not online or on Wall Street.
We're so over Pirates.
In fact, we've all had just about enough bad "breaking news" news for awhile, haven't we? Who really wants to hear one more true story about war, hostages, ransoms, and other "man-caused" disasters? Who wants to hear about another devastating tornado, earthquake, mudslide, fire, or tsunami? Not me, and I know I'm not alone.
Mention the word "economy" in a crowded room and you may well trigger an involuntary reflex reaction whereby people's index fingers become firmly implanted in their ears. (Really, it's true. I've seen it happen.) Kidnappings? Murders? Executive bonuses? Tainted pistachios? Aaargh!
It's time to think about puppies.
That's right. Puppies.
News of the Obama family's new addition, Bo, a six-month-old Portuguese Water Dog, is exactly the kind of news we need - and it comes not a moment too soon.
Did you know that Portuguese Water Dogs worked alongside fishermen, retrieving their broken nets, diving for fish, and carrying messages between boats? Did you know they're exceptional swimmers, with webbed feet and rudder-like tails? Did you know that these spirited dogs are "self-willed, brave, and very resistant to fatigue...of exceptional intelligence...obedient?"
And they're eminently cute.
Imagine that! A First Puppy who, for all intents and purposes, could double as a Navy Seal! A presidential pooch who could likely trounce a sea of Somali pirates with one paw tied behind his back!
Now that's news, and it doesn't get any better.